hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
