did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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