i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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