sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
