is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
