I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
