I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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