You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
