No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
