PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
