All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
