Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
