im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
