You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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