i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
