it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
