That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
