Just fell off a train. Bad.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
