I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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