She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
