There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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