when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
