Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
