Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
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Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
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We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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