Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
