she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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