I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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