he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Do vagina's smell?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
