like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Boobs speak an international language.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
