And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Houston, we have a squirter
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
