I'm sorry my penis didn't work
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
