VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
