Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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