I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
