it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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