I heard we made out
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
