he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
