He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
