I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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