I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
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The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
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Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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