So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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