hell yes lets make some ravioli
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
