we're blogging at a bar
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize