I skipped work to stalk him.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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