how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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