yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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