is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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