I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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