I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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