Pappa wants mamma naked
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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