i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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