the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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