the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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