look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
