Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
