he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
