4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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