hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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