He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
