Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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