He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
