brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize