I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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