He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
