i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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